Bitchin': Flaunting my disdain for small talk

Sometimes when you are stuck in one of those conversations you'd rather not have. May I interest you in some talk over scones, ice cream or cones? Maybe cooks, books, or crooks?
The coffee machine?
That coffee machine is dripping slow today
Yeah, it's always slow. I don't know.
Sometimes you do know that the coffee machine is a derelict appliance that has been fixed and prodded many times that month but you ask anyway.
Do you think it'll hold through the day? There are a lot of people who need their regular doses? Ha ha. I know. This is my third cup already.
At least it's good for you, has anti-oxidants.
Oh, really, I always thought it was really bad for the skin.
No...
And here you have intro to talk about that article you read about coffee and anti-oxidants.
When I was little, we moved a few times, enough for me to have a ritual. When we had cleared everything from the old place, I would go back in and say something aloud to hear my echo back. These conversations are the same. I say hi, you say ho. Hi ho. Hi ho. And so we hi ho all day long across the gulf between us.

P.S: Comment with your favorite small talks! While having them can be awkward, later they always seem hilarious.